At this age, your child is likely to
have intense emotions. He may react quickly and impulsively to them.
Excitement, frustration, joy, anger, and fear are some of the feelings he has.
Help your child understand these
feelings by giving them a name. When a box will not open or a car will not
roll, your child may drop it in tearful frustration. Say “I know it makes you
angry when your toy won’t work.” These words show your toddler that you
understand his frustration. It gives him words for understanding his feelings.
Showing him how the toy works or substituting another toy may help him gain
control over his frustration.
It takes many years for a child to
learn about and to cope with his emotions. Giving names to feelings is the
first step.
What it’s like to be 16–18 months
How I grow…
·
I walk by myself.
·
I can throw a ball from a standing or
sitting position.
·
I may be able to climb stairs with
help.
·
I may start creeping down the stairs
backward.
·
I am very good at pushing a small
chair.
·
It gives me a real sense of power to
test out my developing muscles.
How I talk…
·
I may be able to hum.
·
I have long babbling “conversations”
with you or with my toys.
·
I can combine two words such as “go
bye-bye.”
·
I may let you know when my diaper is
wet or soiled.
·
I will begin to say “please” and
“thank you” if I regularly hear you say them.
How I respond…
·
I am struggling to be independent and
to do things by myself.
·
I depend on your help when I am in
trouble.
·
I don’t understand what it means to
share. I like to play near other children but not with them. When I want a toy,
I can’t understand that another child may also want it.
·
I hunt for you by going from room to
room.
·
When I give you something, I want to
see how you like it.
·
I will play by myself for awhile but
I like you nearby.
·
I may help put toys away if you show
me where they belong. I can’t do it by myself. Make a game of it for me.
·
Tickling and squeezing me may be fun
for you but might make me uncomfortable. If you toss me up in the air, I may
get scared and the rough movement could damage my brain.
How I understand…
·
I am beginning to put things inside
other things to see how they will fit.
·
I am beginning to remember where
objects belong.
·
I try to copy adults.
·
I spend a lot of time staring at
things, animals, and people.
·
I can understand simple directions
most of the time and follow them some of the time.
·
I may go find a toy in another room
if you ask me to get it.
How you help me learn…
Toddlers are curious, loving, and
full of fun and laughter. They can melt your heart and lift your spirits. They
can also be very demanding. They have little patience and endless energy.
Toddlers have their own schedules. Just because you’re tired at the end of the
day, doesn’t mean that your toddler is. Or your toddler may be exhausted yet
unable to wind down when you are needing quiet time.
Talk about your frustrations to a
friend, counselor, or doctor to help put things in perspective. Call The Parent
Line to get support and ideas on how to cope with your active toddler.
·
I am figuring out how things work and
may discover that your lipstick marks just as well as crayons. It may be
difficult for you to imagine how clever I was to have made that discovery. It
will be easier for both of us if you put the “no-no’s” out of my reach. I need
to explore, and I need a safe place to discover how things work.
·
Play with me. One of my favorite
games now is “chase-and-be-chased.” Other favorite games are “hide-and-seek” and
“roll-the-ball.”
·
Give me lots of hugs and kisses.Tell
me you love the way I smile, that you like my giggle, that you love my nose, my
toes, and my ears. Tell me over and over again.
·
Talk to me, even though I don’t
understand everything you say. Talk to me as you would talk to an adult.
Listening to you will help me under stand longer sentences. Tell me what is
going to happen today, where we are going, and what we will see.
·
Let me play with an old purse with a
handle. I will put my treasures in it and carry it around.
·
Let me sit in a laundry basket or cut
out the ends of a large box and let me practice crawling through it. Hang a
towel over one end of it and I’ll hide from you.
Guidance
Anger and Tears
A toddler’s ability to handle
frustration is very limited. He gets angry and upset easily. An outburst is
most likely to happen when he is hungry, tired, or excited.
To help prevent outbursts:
·
Maintain your child’s routines:
eating, napping, and bedtime.
·
Give your child a few minutes notice
before ending an activity. This advance notice makes “changing gears” easier.
·
Take snacks, books, and small toys
with you when you go places. Avoid large crowds, long waiting periods, and too
many errands which may overstimulate your child.
·
If you see that a situation is upsetting
him, stop or change the activity. Respond to your toddler’s tears before he
loses control.
·
Make sure you are not expecting too
much of your toddler by setting too many limits or using “no” too often.
When an outburst does occur:
·
Realize that it is always worse for
you when it occurs in public. If you can find a quiet place to help your child
calm down, it will be easier for both of you. Think about what your child must
be experiencing.
·
Try not to get angry yourself. If you
do, the outburst is likely to get worse instead of better. However, don’t give
in to unreasonable demands.
·
Depending on the situation, if there
are safety issues involved, you may need to restrain your child. Decide whether
to ignore an outburst or to hold your child securely. Offer your child comfort
when he has calmed down. These outbursts may continue through age five. They
may be less frequent but more intense as a child grows older. It takes a long
time for a child to learn self-control. He needs support, understanding,
consistency, and encouragement as he learns to handle his emotions.
Choking
Your toddler can easily choke on
food. To prevent choking, here are some things to remember:
·
Avoid giving food such as crack seed,
arare, chips, peanut butter served from a spoon, nuts and iso peanuts, raw
carrots and celery, hard pieces of fruit, gummy candies, popcorn, trail mix,
marshmallows, mochi crunch, hard candies, and jelly beans.
·
Cook carrots. Cut grapes into
quarters and remove the seeds. Cut hot dogs and Vienna sausages lengthwise into
four strips.
·
Always watch your child when he is
eating.
·
Never give him food when he is lying
down.
·
Insist that he sit down to eat. Foods
that cause choking are often eaten “on the run.”
·
Keep eating times relaxed. Fighting,
laughing, and crying can make him catch his breath and inhale food.
Weaning From a Bottle
A toddler can usually drink from a
cup quite well. However, many parents continue to give their child a bottle
because they prefer giving liquids in a spill-proof container. Other parents
are worried that their toddler will not get enough to eat if he doesn’t get a
bottle. The bottle may also provide a lot of comfort to a child. If your
toddler continues to use a bottle with milk or juice in it, problems can occur.
A child may carry his bottle around sucking on it frequently during the day. At
night, he may go to sleep with the bottle in his mouth. Juice or milk is in
frequent and continued contact with his teeth. These liquids feed bacteria in
the mouth and can cause cavities. If he sucks his bottle while lying down,
there is also a chance of painful ear infections.
To prevent these problems, help your
toddler gradually give up the bottle.
·
Give him milk and juice only from a
cup. If he insists on having his bottle, fill it with water or allow him to
have it when it is empty.
·
Be prepared for a few tough weeks of
crying and whining. Look for ways to distract your child from his bottle.
·
Continue your special routines. If
the bottle has been associated with cuddling and rocking, carry on these
activities, but without the bottle.
·
Keep his bottle out of sight unless
you intend to give it to him.
Food Choices
Your child knows when he has had enough
to eat and what foods he likes. He doesn’t know what foods are needed for
growth and health. That part is your job.
Offer several small servings of food from each of
these groups daily:
·
Breads, cereals, rice, pasta,
crackers, poi
·
Vegetables cut in small pieces
·
Fruits cut in small pieces
·
Milk, yogurt, or cheese
·
Meat, fish, poultry, egg, tofu, beans
The Parent Line Keiki Guide describes
a typical child at each age. These descriptions are based on the study of many
children. Because your child is unique, he may do things somewhat earlier or
later.
Health
Dental Care
Schedule your child’s first visit to
a dentist sometime between the ages of 1 and 2. Dentists who have special
training and equipment to care for children are called pediatric dentists or
pedodontists. Your own dentist may also be willing to care for your child.
This important first visit should be
a pleasant experience. Prepare your child for the visit by reading him a
children’s book about going to the dentist. Explain to your child that the
dentist is a helper to mom and dad in caring for his teeth. Before he gets
there, tell him what to expect. Playing “dentist” may also help.
During the first visit, ask your
dentist how you can keep your child’s teeth strong. Ask for a lesson on how to
teach your child to brush his teeth properly. Find out if you need to floss
your child’s teeth. Regular brushing and flossing, the use of fluoride, regular
check-ups, and a diet low in sweet foods and drinks will help reduce dental
problems.
This is the time to establish good
dental habits. Young children often feel very grown-up when they are given
their own toothbrush and are allowed to brush and spit to their heart’s
content. You will need to help your child do the actual daily brushing but
toothpaste is not needed until age three.
Safety
Make your home safe for your child.
·
Plastic bags and balloons are
responsible for many suffocation deaths. Tie each bag in a knot for storage or
disposal.
·
Medicines, household and garden
chemicals, paints and craft supplies make kitchens, bathrooms, work-shops, and
garages especially dangerous. Lock up all these hazards.
·
Fluoride and vitamin pills (child or
adult type) are a major cause of poisoning for children this age. Over the
counter and prescription drugs (including birth control pills) are also
dangerous.
·
A friend’s purse containing pills
that look like candy is tempting to a curious child. A pill bottle in plain
view at a grandparent’s house is a safety hazard.
·
If you suspect that your child has
swallowed something dangerous, immediately call the Hawaii Poison Center or
dial 911. Keep Ipecac syrup on hand and locked up. Do not use unless advised to
do so by medical personnel.
·
Keep toothpicks out of reach. They
can cause serious injury to eyes and ears and can be swallowed.
·
Check window openings and lanai
railings to be sure a child could not slip through. Remove lightweight lanai
furniture or planters that your child could push close to a lanai railing. He
could climb up and over the railing. Check to see that window screens are
secure and furniture is away from a window to prevent falls out of the window.
·
Put screening around your railings if
the bars are too far apart.
A Parent Asks
Q – My baby is 18 months old. I am
still breast-feeding him. My mother says I should have weaned him a long time
ago. One of my friends breast-fed her baby until she was three years old. What
do you think?
A – There is no right answer. By 18
months, children are able to drink quite well from a cup, so breast-feeding
becomes a way of asking for and receiving comfort more than a way of fulfilling
nutritional needs.
Some children lose interest in
breast- feeding before the mother is ready to stop. Other children want to
continue well into the third year. Some mothers believe that breast-feeding
should continue until the child stops nursing by choice.
When you decide to wean your baby, here are some
suggestions:
·
Avoid weaning when your child is
faced with a stressful situation. Your return to work, a family vacation, or
the excitement of a holiday could be a difficult time.
·
Wean your child gradually. First,
stop the feeding that seems least important to your child. Then gradually stop
other feedings one at a time. Look for other ways to respond to your child’s
hunger, thirst, or his desire for attention and affection.
·
Be sure to offer your child a variety
of protein-rich foods. Meat, fish, cheese, tofu, and eggs can make up for the
decrease in breast milk.
·
Continue pleasant routines such as
bedtime rocking and singing that your child has come to associate with his
breast-feeding.